And now, the Phantom Project presents a very special holiday review, finished just for you, the excitable readers.

Bah, humbug, indeed.

The Lehman/Calvi review is up, and I am like a rolling stone, gathering no moss.  Except for the part about having a loathsome cold, but I'm hoping that'll go away.  Soon.  Please?

You guys are in for a very special holiday treat soon.  Stay tuned.

The holidays are a bad time for reviews.  I'm all, "Hey, guys, I need to go into another room and get angry at someone I don't know for an hour or two," and they're like, "Fuck that, drink this eggnog."  So you can see how it's hard to get anything done.

Nevertheless, here's the first Newman review online at last, and I hold out hope that I can churn out another one or two before the end of the month.  I'm a dynamo.

Today, for one reason or another, I was thinking about all the Phantom-inspired video games I'm going to eventually be getting to play, and then I thought, "Hey, I wonder if there are any non-cyber versions of those floating around."  So I consulted the expert on these matters (Google), and holy shit, you guys, there actually really is a Phantom of the Opera board game.

I have no idea how in the nine Buddhist hells I'm going to find a copy, but the hunt is on, ladies and gentlemen.

The Brumpton review is up!  Everybody join me in thanking the lovely forever77, who sent me the book free of charge out of the goodness of her heart. I'm constantly amazed when people help me out with rare materials - thank you, thank you!

After heavy reflection (believe you me, I used my brainthinks on this one), I've decided to split the book reviews and short story reviews into two separate pages.  I hate to part the written word like that (such sweet sorrow), but there were getting to be enough shorts that they needed their own category.

Someday, maybe even the games and radio shows will get their own pages.  Shoot for the stars, that's what I always say.

The last Russell review is done, and I'm on to happier things.  Let's see what you've got, Newman!  Bring it.

Okay, the second Russell review is up.  I'm expecting Olympian accolades after this mess.  John, be on it.

I don't know what the cheese is going on with the really bad stories lately, but I'm ready for it to stop now, please.  First Russell review is up; off to console self with cocoa.

The Pillow review is up, and the fangs are out.  I wonder how much more vampirism I'm going to be tripping over in this project - in a Dracula project, sure, to be expected, but Leroux?  I learn new things every day. 

Thank godness.  The Burke review is finally live.  I can have no more bad short stories now, yes?

The Riley review is now up.  I'm afraid of what the final story might bring.  Someone hold me.

The Berman review is up, and I've filled my positivity quota for the month.  Onward!

The Carlanime review is up (yeah, yeah, I'm sure it's reprinted from internet fanfiction, but it still bugs me when people don't use their names, or at least a pen name that has a surname attached, for formally published fiction).

The Wrights review is complete, and I am done forevermore with that anthology.  On to more glorious, less painful things!

Darn... I was planning to get the Soper-Cook review up yesterday so my total number of reviews for August would make me feel warm and glowing inside, but I guess it was not to be.  Onward into the barrage of further short stories I go.

Man, that anthology BLIND-SIDED me, the fucking bastard!  What the hell?  You little black-covered smooth-paged BITCH.

The Shost review is up.

UGH.

Who's on a roll?  I'm on a roll!  The Bregman review is up!  Respect!

Of course, now I have to go to meetings at my real job.  Pfft.  Whatever.

The Rhodes review is up, and look at me go!  It's almost like I'm a responsible reviewer slash reader slash website handler!  I expect it to last until the next great disaster happens (I think hurricane might be the next on my life list).

At the request of an avid reader (I think he might be my only reader, which makes him the most avid by default), I'll be jumping just one or two ahead and reviewing the Bregman comics next.  Considering the last few things I read, I could use the mental break before someone comes up with some new way of making my brain explode.

The Absinthe review is up!  And my brain looks like swiss cheese now!  Swiss cheese that laughs a lot!

I am concerned about the direction in which many things on my list seem to be going, but I'm holding onto hope.  There have to be gems in there somewhere!

It would be super impressive if I were posting a real review only two days after the last one, but the reality is that the Joyce book was a dud.  Damnation!  Luckily, posting a tiny "review" on it makes me feel accomplished and strokes my ego so I can sally forth to the next source. 

The Etrivert review is up!   Hot damn, I am on fire!  It looks like I'm a slacker because this review is in a different month than the last one, but that's because that one was at the very end of the month and this one is at the very beginning.  So step off.

Next one incoming!

Ha ha, you thought you were free, didn't you?  You thought I'd finally succumbed to never getting any sleep, being surrounded by broken stuff and bills, and having horrible books in my queue?  Well, my friend, you are wrong, because the Binkley review is up and I am too badass to be kept down.

Onward!  Special kudos shout-out to Sharon E. Cathcart, who sent me a gratis copy of her book Eye of the Beholder after the PDF copy I bought exploded in a hard drive crash!  Yay for wonderful people who help me!

You know what I hate?  Things that break, don't work, or otherwise thwart me.  Like this totally expensive overseas DVD of the Cosmos Phantom is doing right now.  Nnnnnngrrrraah.  Okay, I'm better now.

On to the Binkley, which I'm sure can't be anything but fantastical.  I mean, we've had such great luck with modern versions of the story so far, right?  No?  Well, then, there's a first time for everything and my optimism will not be diminished!

Holy Jesus and his tennis racket.  Through visiting relatives, house foreclosures, and getting hit in the skull with a softball going about ten zillion miles per hour, I have come, bearing a review of the totally mediocre Jacobs musical.

And now, I collapse.  More forthcoming in the future.

Aaaand then I fell off the planet.  Birthdays, meetings, you know the drill; everything has come running after me and, as usual, the Project has ended up standing woefully on the corner, staring soulfully up at my window, holding a boombox over its head, desperately attempting to court my love.

While I'm not finished with the Jacobs review yet, I do have a new, sparkly little link over there on the sidebar: The Creators Speak, where feedback and commentary from the authors and composers of lo these many works can be found.  I know - I, too, am somewhat astonished by the fact that they took the time out of their day to not only read my little reviews but also write to me about them, but there you go.  Artists are just cool damn people like that.

I promise to come back with a review before the end of the month.  I make this solemn promise to you, internet audience of probably three people, and to myself.

My goodness, I've made it all the way to the celebrated 2004 film.  It's like I'm making progress, or something!  Review is up, and I'm off to meditate on other new sources and wait for the flames to come rolling in.

The Lofficier review is up, which means if I am giving out one A+ grade per year, 2010 is officially taken.  Sorry, all other things I review this year.

And now it's on to one of the reviews we've all (three) been waiting for: the Schumacher/Butler film.  Wait with bated breath.

The Kuiper review is up!  See, I can deliver on my promises.  Really.  Come back.

On to the next short story!

Still plugging on the next review, which will hopefully be up in the next couple of days.  In the meantime: adventures on Amazon.  Someone remind me to never calculate how much money I have spent on this project to day, because if John finds that figure he will burn down my bookshelves.

Kae D. Jacobs' novel seems to be out in a new edition, with a fancy new Amazon listing.  Is there actually new content, or did she just change the cover?  That sucker is expensive and I already bought the old edition, so this is an important question for me.

Also, what is up with Sabrina Callahan?  She seems to imply that only one of her books is Phantom-based (The Phantom's Song), but the hero's name appears to be Erik in every single one of her other fiction works (or, in the hilarious case of her sci-fi adventure on another planet, "Erikian").  Someone on the internet enlighten me so I don't have to buy all of these, only to find that some are not relevant.  I'm not actually made of money (or barter, or sexual favors, or anything else that would be useful here).  Amazon is CONVINCED that I should buy them to be sure, but then again I feel they might be a little bit biased.

Apparently I am a dumbass; Taormina is a dirty liar whose book lists both 2003 and 2008 as publication dates, but since I distinctly remember it coming out recently, I'm pretty sure it's 2008.  Back to the shelf with it, and on to a stage play instead.

Hey, shut up!  Numbers are hard!

Google Webmaster Tools is a wonderful invention.  Without it, how would I know that a full 80% of people who find my site off of Google do so because they were googling the names of adult film stars?  Sorry, sir or madam who was looking for "Kyle Stone porn" or "Jamie Gillis adult"; your dreams will not find fruition here, unless you have a secret kink involving the examination of social strata in your dirty movies.

Hi, other 20%!  Most of you are kids writing papers, seeking something you can copy and paste with minimal effort!  You should probably go, too.  There's a little much swearing around here for your average professor.

Apparently, I want to be left alone in my corner of the internet.  Like the crochety old schadenfreudian hermit I am.

The Vehlow review is up... quite a wordcount for such a little book.  I'm on to the slightly daunting task of the first Taormina book, but I'll keep swimming! 

I just gotta say that with all the Love Never Dies bootlegs and copies of the score floating around, it is getting increasingly difficult not to listen to them.

Come on, Anne, straighten up!  You haven't even gotten through Webber's 2004 movie yet, and you can't just be doing things willy-nilly!  We have a timeline here for a reason!

Yes, I CAN write three reviews in one month!  D'Ammassa is done!  Look at me go!  The next one's a long one, though.

And I'm more than a little bit distracted watching all the kerfluffle over the debut of the new Webber musical.  Vive la discussion!

Boom, the Kanari review is up.  See?  I can do things quickly!  I totally can!

As my friend AJ would say, "booyah, bitchnads."  On to the next!

Just in time for the season of love, it's the second Meadows review.  How fantastic can I get?  We'll see if the next book also takes me a month to read (dammit, Anne!  You're going to be amassing books forever if you don't step it up!).

And now there's a Zach review!  And I'm doing it all without a PC in my house, folks.  That is my dedication.  But now... now, the next one may take a bit, because I can't help but see what book  is next in my queue...

Wish me luck.  I have a hardhat, a case of beer, and an attitude that will not be said no to.

Sweet baby Jesus.  The plague.  The computer crash.  The dying family members.  I would not be surprised if the sun also burnt out.  But I'm back, the Microprose review is up, and if anyone tries to tell me I can't do what I want to do, why, I will punch that person in the nose.

So there!