Google Webmaster Tools is a wonderful invention.  Without it, how would I know that a full 80% of people who find my site off of Google do so because they were googling the names of adult film stars?  Sorry, sir or madam who was looking for "Kyle Stone porn" or "Jamie Gillis adult"; your dreams will not find fruition here, unless you have a secret kink involving the examination of social strata in your dirty movies.

Hi, other 20%!  Most of you are kids writing papers, seeking something you can copy and paste with minimal effort!  You should probably go, too.  There's a little much swearing around here for your average professor.

Apparently, I want to be left alone in my corner of the internet.  Like the crochety old schadenfreudian hermit I am.