Ta-daa! The Cartier review is up and running, and if you were feeling a dearth of vampires, histrionics or horribly abused period language in your day, I have come to your rescue. I'm optimistic; I mean, how many more bad vampire versions of this story could there possibly be? (Please don't give me realistic estimates. It's too early in the day to start drinking.)

Three, count 'em, three whole people have found it in their hearts to toss me a couple of pennies since the donation button went up; SY, JD and AM, you are my heroes forever. Five dollars says I'm now off to review Popcorn, a 1991 horror adaptation with a cover featuring a woman's skinned face. This can go nowhere but up.